Nurturing brings images of connection, safety, vulnerability. I see differences in how my children receive the nurture that I or my wife offers to each of them. Sometimes they accept it readily, usually when they are sick or injured. Sometimes it is difficult for them to receive what we are offering. Sometimes they have to work through their own process before they can accept the gift of nurture. Sometimes it is hard to wait for that as a parent.
I recently heard someone say, ” We (addicts) are in the process of growing up, and it is hard to grow up, it is hard to know what we need, it is even harder to ask for what we need.” Therein is a significant block to recovering, or “growing up”. That difficulty for the sex addict is identifying what is needed and having a difficult time receiving what is offered. For the person, their partner, they are in relationship with, it is felt as an interminable waiting for connection.
The good news is that change happens. Just as I see changes in my kids processing and growing their brains, their neural connections…there are changes that are possible for anyone that has been sexually addicted or suffering from multiple addictions. Self care begins, openness to receiving from others grows, and obsessive, addictive thoughts and actions slow, and can be managed. Recovery becomes normal and a zone of health is established. If you are ready for nurturing, reach out…it only requires 30 seconds of courage to make that call, send that email.